Happy 2013! The new year finds Adam and I especially excited and happy because we're getting married in September! He proposed right before Halloween and we set a fall wedding date soon after.
Adam's health has been steady with only a few seizures since August. We have continued to employ breathing techniques. In fact, tonight we tried something new that I'd like to share.
Around 2 am, Adam started stirring and whining. This is usually the precursor to a seizure. He throws the covers off because his body heat rises. At this point, we can control the seizure and make sure it doesn't progress. I always remind him to breathe because he seems to hold his breath when he starts to tense up. Often I grab a cold towel for his head to bring his temperature down, and we try to talk through it together.
Tonight, I asked him to clear his mind and picture a beach. He replied, "there are too many people on the beach." He always surprises me with how his mind works. I'm picturing a serene beach with the tide rolling in over the sand, he's picturing vacationing, sunburned families. I laughed and said, "Picture a park at dawn." He said that was better and I could tell his breath was more regulated. This is the part that makes me think that his seizures aren't simply a chemical reaction, but also PTSD related. Adam's been through several traumatic events in his life, and he does have a severe brain injury which causes memory loss/lack of retention.
Within a minute or so, I could tell that we were going to be okay. In a lot of ways, I recognize how lucky we are when it comes to the seizures. I've been following some epilepsy/TBI Facebook pages and blogs, and these are tame compared to what some people have to go through. Adam is has amazing strength, even though he doesn't see it that way. This is just how he has had to survive for the past 15 years.
As we plan our wedding and future together, we've talked in detail about how the seizures will affect the rest of our lives. We know that he will likely never be able to drive, although as he progresses that is something we'd like to revisit in the future, if possible. Until then, he's content with cabs and walking!
Several people have quietly asked me how we're going to have kids if Adam has seizures. It's a silly question, really, but I can see how people who aren't familiar with seizures could wonder. My answer is this: we'll deal with it when we get there. Adam always rises to the challenge and I think that he will be a fantastic father. If he needs someone to help out, we plan on having a part time nanny if I'm working, and of course, someone close to call if he has questions or immediate needs. We have a strong support system and I know that we will be just fine.
I promise to keep up on this blog more! I am learning more and more about epilepsy, TBI, PTSD, and techniques that help Adam. and I plan on sharing them in the weeks to come!
